29 November 2010

Creation for Dummies












  1. Make some angels, including some faulty ones to become snakes and devils and such.
  2. Make some creatures, plants and people.
  3. Decide that some of these are unclean, but don't clean them.
  4. Make a list of bad things and call them sins. These must include really obvious stuff like not killing everything.
  5. Allow a snake to trick the first people into sinning.
  6. Hold all future generations responsible for that original sin.
  7. Make more rules about how to treat your slaves and make animal sacrifices to yourself.
  8. Do not include, under any circumstances, rules about genocide or peadophilia, otherwise future priests won't have anything to do.
  9. Give these rules to people in only one place in the world. The rest of the world have to hunt the rulebook. Good fun.
  10. Make sure your holy writings are unclear so that hundreds of religious factions can be formed. This will increase your enjoyment later.
  11. Crossbreed yourself with one of your creations, to make your son.
  12. Offer up your son for execution to forgive people for your earlier creation of original sin. Cheat a bit and bring him back to life. Not many people will be looking so it won't be noted in any history texts, so don't worry too much.
  13. Now hide and watch your creations slaughter each other for the next 2000 years arguing about minute details in your book. Perfect!

2 comments:

  1. Anonymous8/23/2014

    How did Christianity get so big? I mean, if Jesus was killed, wouldn't the religion just die?

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  2. Quite simply because primitive man needed explanations for the 'big questions' (and still does), and grasped at 1000s of different gods over the centuries. Jesus, of whom there is no evidence whatsoever, was just grafted onto Judaism anyway. And just because something is big says nothing about its truth (look up 'appeal to popularity'). Other religions are also large: yet they can't all be true can they? Overwhelming probablity that none of them are true.

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