- Make some angels, including some faulty ones to become snakes and devils and such.
- Make some creatures, plants and people.
- Decide that some of these are unclean, but don't clean them.
- Make a list of bad things and call them sins. These must include really obvious stuff like not killing everything.
- Allow a snake to trick the first people into sinning.
- Hold all future generations responsible for that original sin.
- Make more rules about how to treat your slaves and make animal sacrifices to yourself.
- Do not include, under any circumstances, rules about genocide or peadophilia, otherwise future priests won't have anything to do.
- Give these rules to people in only one place in the world. The rest of the world have to hunt the rulebook. Good fun.
- Make sure your holy writings are unclear so that hundreds of religious factions can be formed. This will increase your enjoyment later.
- Crossbreed yourself with one of your creations, to make your son.
- Offer up your son for execution to forgive people for your earlier creation of original sin. Cheat a bit and bring him back to life. Not many people will be looking so it won't be noted in any history texts, so don't worry too much.
- Now hide and watch your creations slaughter each other for the next 2000 years arguing about minute details in your book. Perfect!
29 November 2010
Creation for Dummies
Posted by Grumpy Atheist at 03:02