3 December 2010

God's Resumé



PERSONAL INFORMATION

Name Mr. God
Address Everywhere
Marital status Single
Children One (who is also myself)

SKILLS

Interpersonal skills (assuming they worship me totally)
Creative writing
Money handling
Violating the laws of physics
Microsoft Office


PREVIOUS WORK EXPERIENCE

6000 BC
Self employed 6 day contract where I designed and implemented a project to create the universe. Notable achievements include childhood genetic illness, viruses, cancer and fluffy bunnies.

5999-1 BC
Personally managed a race of my choice, guiding them to sucessfully exterminate and enslave inferior neighbours. Outlined a prototype document of moral codes of how to respect each other.

0 AD
Completed successful in vitro fertilisation of a human female. I was inspired by previous gods who had done this before.
[Legal disclaimer: She said yes and her husband didn't mind]

40+ AD
Wrote several articles, joke books and stories , many of which have combined into one book which has since become an international best seller.

40 - 2010 AD
Have been taking a short 2 millennia vacation to find myself, in the hope to gain valuable insights and increase my relevance in the modern workplace.

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