28 January 2011

Hotline To God

"We are sorry, God cannot take your call right now. You are in queue position 45,649,338,329. Please hold and a representative will be with you shortly."

It is curious how often we are told by other people what god intends, what he really means, what his plan is for you.

What makes these fools think they are privy to such knowledge about what god thinks?
Do they regularly hear from him on some flashing bat-phone?
Does god email them with the latest set of revelations?
Do priests have a "Bible 2.0' where it tells them inner truths the rest of us are not worthy of?

Take the Pope as an example of this.  The unbelievable arrogance of the man, strutting about in a silly hat, telling others god-given truths.  Apparently, the good lord goes out of his way to give this prime idiot inside information.

If I was a god, I'd go on chat shows and tell the world, not entrust it to the biggest pedophile ring in human history.  After all, gods seem to want to be popular. Odd then, that they hide all the time.

"We are sorry but we are experiencing an usually high volume of calls this millennium. If you would like to leave your name and number, we will try to get back to you before the second coming. Your call is important to us, but it's your soul we are really after."

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