12 January 2011
One damNation Under God
There can be no privacy from this perpetual voyeur, your eternal stalker.
Some people can be seen playing happily, some are on the toilet, some are running in terror as a tidal wave destroys their life. Still others are dressed in turbans and sporting long dirty beards, jumping up and down on a burning flag and whooping like excitable chimpanzees.
Chillingly, these monitor screens also scan each person's mind to determine if any sinful thoughts occur.
The list of violations flash past, never-ending:
18.43 09/01/11 William Pratt violated command 4 by working on the Sabbath, doing some gardening. Damn his tulips too.
18.44 09/03/11 Doris McFadden violated command 10 by coveting her neighbour's paisely-pattern sofa.
18.45 09/03/11 Peter Pecker violated command 3 by using God's name in vain when he said 'This God character is a bit of dick really.'
Rumour is that God has had to upgrade the memory card in his electronic Book of Judgement, as people are even more awful than he had imagined.
Meanwhile, one screen shows a zealous preacher proclaiming to the public "Good news! Believe in the one true God! Now is your chance! God loves you and offers you eternal heaven!"
God grinned manically, and threw some more coal onto the fire pits of hell.
Posted by Grumpy Atheist at 00:37