18 February 2011

The Soddom & Gomorrah News

'Good evening, this is The Soddom & Gomorrah News Network, your best choice for local events happening in the region.
Tonight's breaking news: An angry crowd is forming outside of respected local resident Lot. 
Over to our roving reporter, Sindy Moore, live at the scene."

'Yes, am standing outside of Lot's house now. The crowds are going wild and demanding he releases his two visitors."

'Do we know why they want them?"

'A spokesmen for the crowd is holding a banner reading Bugger Strangers, so you can draw your own conclusions from that.'

'Grim. Any word from Lot, who is under siege in his own home?"

'Lot appears to be shouting through a window, telling the crowd they are being rather rude to want his guests for wicked purposes'

'Sindy, do you....'

'Sorry I am going to have to interrupt you. Lot has come up with a diplomatic solution. Instead of handing over his two visitors, he has given them his two daughters to use as they wish. Brilliant move there by Lot.'

Later that day.....

'In Sports News, today's chariot death race ended in a zero zero score draw.
Now for an update to the Lot story. God himself has ordered Lot and his family to leave town as it's about to get a major makeover. Our reporter, Sindy Moore, is again at the scene.'

'I am running alongside the Lot family as they flee the burning city. Flames rampage through the town. It's chaos. And the Big Man himself, the Supreme Bearded One, has just instructed the Lot family not to look back. Oh! Mrs Lot has failed! She tried taking a sneak peek over her shoulder. She's been turned into a pillar of salt.'

'What?! Just for looking? Sindy, hello?......
 We seem to have lost the connection as our reporter is now apparently a big pile of black pepper.'

What a glowing example Lot is to us all. His daughters were equally impressive, when they decided the best way to continue the family line was to get him drunk and become impregnated by him.

Remember kids, the holy bible is a source of great morality for us all. Especially if your father is also your grandfather.

Genesis 19:6-8 Lot went outside to meet them and shut the door behind him and said, “No, my friends. Don’t do this wicked thing. Look, I have two daughters who have never slept with a man. Let me bring them out to you, and you can do what you like with them. But don’t do anything to these men, for they have come under the protection of my roof.”

Genesis 19:31-32 One day the older daughter said to the younger, “Our father is old, and there is no man around here to give us children—as is the custom all over the earth. Let’s get our father to drink wine and then sleep with him and preserve our family line through our father.”

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